![]() When we make a decision, we should make sure to decide how we will decide, this way, one person is not always just making a decision for the group that will be talked about in small conversations and not stay made. For instance, on page 173 it talks again about not engaging "in post decision lobbying" and how horrible that is for groups who have to continue to work together. This must be a huge problem for all groups because the issue keeps coming up in each chapter. ![]() I know we've all said before that it is impossible to expect us to not talk about people, deicisions, or situation after PLC, but there has to be a way to vent or confide in others without being untrustworthy. However, the real change has to come from our actions after the dialogue or decision. Just as I've said in the past, paraphrasing someone else is not going to make us trust on another. I agree that just having crucial conversations is NOT going to fix any problems. Maybe that is due to time? I find myself thinking, "I think we're all saying the same thing." a lot in our PLC meetings. I do feel like we jump to discuss and/or debate the parts that we don't agree on instead of building on the many parts we all do agree on. I thought the part about agreeing when you do agree is genius. I feel like I have to discuss with someone to make meaning of something, so once I've heard what they have to say, I want to jump in and ask a question or offer a suggestion and end up skipping the mirroring and paraphrasing. I am not trying to be condescending I just am not very good at multi-tasking I guess. I am really working on paraphrasing, but most of the time when I do it, it sounds rehearsed and ridiculous. Plus, all of these listening techniques are also in Adaptive Schools. Really listening, not just hearing or planning what I am going to say next, which I do 90% of the time. I especially liked seeing the title of chapter 8 because I feel like I do need work in listening. for the kids, or for my job or whatever when really, I am just pushing my agenda. The last interesting part of chapter 7 was when it says, "when it comes to our strongest views, passion can be our enemy" because I think as a teacher I want to "hid" behind what I consider my passion. I always like it when I hear and/or read the same thing in multiple sources! I really need examples like the ones they provide on page 133 of ways to not express things too soft or too hard. Also, the "talk tentatively" reminded me of something I learned in Adaptive Schools, that phrasing things in tentatives (using words such as might, may, some) is more calming and helps get more out of the conversation. I also hardly ever remember to "ask for othres' paths" when I am heated or upset about something. While reading the STATE part on page 124, I realized that I rarely start with "share your facts", but instead begin conversations with my side of the story or my interpretation of the "facts". ![]() I also think it is important how it talked about having skill at dialogue because most people think dialogue should just come natural, which I'm learning, it doesn't most of the time. are both totally frank and completely respectful". O’Reilly members experience books, live events, courses curated by job role, and more from O’Reilly and nearly 200 top publishers.I love the quote on page 121 where it says "the best at dialogue. Get Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, Second Edition, 2nd Edition now with the O’Reilly learning platform. As others begin to share part of their story, restate what you’ve heard to show not just that you understand, but also that it’s safe for them to share what they’re thinking. Increase safety by respectfully acknowledging the emotions people appear to be feeling. Start by simply expressing interest in the other person’s views. ![]() Then, use four powerful listening skills to retrace the other person’s Path to Action to its origins. Start with an attitude of curiosity and patience. To encourage the free flow of meaning and help others leave silence or violence behind, explore their Paths to Action. ![]()
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